Dragon Terrorizes Local Town

People Stricken with Fear

In Western Pennsylvania, ever since the movie The Great Dragon Attack of 2018, people have been extremely worried about the chances of an actual attack. Yesterday, however, this actually happened. The town of North Apollo was leveled to the ground from dragonfire. I took to the streets to learn more, but there were no streets left.

I talked to Kaden Bopp, a resident of this destroyed town.

I was outside, tending to my tomato. They were all I had left after my home was repossesed. Then, in a flash, I saw it! An 100 ton dragon flying overhead. I grabbed my tomatos and ran for the hills. Coincidentally, it was March 15th, the Ides of March. They always say `Beware the Ides of March,' but I never listened. I will be more careful next time.

I then saw Jake Durancik, a local entrepreneur in the area.

This weird dragon prevented the debut of my latest invention. My new sauce will have to be released at a later date now. I will get my revenge.

Damage totals account to about $6,000,000. Watch your local news station for updates.

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